Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
