This is not my ceiling
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize