I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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