I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
