you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize