It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
