We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize