If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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