is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
