Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
