i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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