is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
