Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
