Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
