I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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