i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize