The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
