I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
