he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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