Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This is not my ceiling
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
