Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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