I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
