I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
