Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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