Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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