I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
