Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
