My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
