Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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