people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
