all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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