A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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