try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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