Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
