God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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