Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
