My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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