Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
