I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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