these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
