It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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