How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
