it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
