How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
