I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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