I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
