i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
