honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Two words: blizzard sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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