You're so nebulous sometimes
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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