elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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