For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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