Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
4 words: hood of his car
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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