I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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