i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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