i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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