My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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