Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
