Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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