I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
