Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
