Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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