no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
