it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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