Kiss
Puke
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
