Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
