I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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